She became unhappy with me in high school and whispered about me on the bus w/ my once best friend who told me she couldn't hang out with me anymore because I told stupid jokes and laughed too much. I shrugged and thought, "Whatever." When I was running for a club presidency, she told everyone my opponent would make a much better president. I laughed and said everyone was entitled to their own opinion. When she came home from school one day when I was in jr. college, she said everyone on the bus took a vote and decided she was MUCH prettier than I was. I said, "I think you're prettier too." It was some years later she told me that she had really hated in high school how much the teachers had said how great I was, and hoped that she was as smart, funny, etc. I said, "Sorry?" Wondering if she would've been happier had they disliked me, and expected to dislike her by extension.
Understand that I am a fairly oblivious person. It took me until quite late in adulthood to understand that my sister had actively been trying to hurt my feelings, to hurt me. It must have been fairly maddening that I stubbornly refused to be hurt.
I could tell about how I avoid my sister now because she is so negative and spends her time with me correcting my behavior and telling me how I should act. But just pray for me please because I don't want to hate my sister. I don't want to have bad feelings every time I think about her. Please pray for her because she is so unhappy, I think. Please pray for us because we don't have a relationship and I don't know how to make one. I don't know her now, and I accept I never did.
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